Written while on the beach watching the sunset

It's really hard to gather your thoughts when you don't eve have the slightest idea what any of them are about. I sit here, at the ocean, watching the sunset, tunes in my ear and sunshine on my face.. And I can't tell if I'm happy or upset. I can't tell if it's to do with a person or a situation. I find these times really frustrating. I want the company of someone, but I'd be terrible to hang out with, and yet I am also wanting to be alone with my thoughts. I want to tell you how I feel but you are such a mystery to me, I don't know how you'll react. The water is really peaceful tonight, slight breeze creating small ripples, but not enough to disturb the glassy surface. Maybe it's the fact that I have to face certain feelings in a few short weeks and I'm not ready to handle it?